Contest of Ogress
by Major144
Summary: Shrek's old girlfriend Gwen wants to take Shrek away to be her husband. She challenges Fiona to an Ogre Battle for Shrek. Can Fiona out fart, burp, and fight Gwen, or will she lose Shrek?
1. Chapter 1 Challenge

Contest of Ogress  
Chapter 1 Challenge  
By: Major144  
Disclaimer I do not own Shrek. This is just a story for fun.

It was a bright day in the swamp at Shrek's house. Fiona his wife was outside on the porch sweeping and attending to some sunflowers sitting on the window. Shrek, Puss, and Donkey were just sitting around relaxing inside watching channels on the Magic Mirror. They were watching a horse chase on KNIGHTS. Fiona just looked at them and smiled.  
"Boys just relaxing." She though as she continued with her work.  
All of a sudden there was a loud of a bunch of marching feet. Everyone raced outside to see what was going on. They saw a large number of male ogres carrying spears. A couple had a large red flag. They stopped a few yards from the house. The ogres parted into two rows on either side. A ogress with black hair, wearing a red dress, and bronze grown decorated with some pearls walked between the rows and towards Shrek and his friends.  
"Gwen!" Gasped Shrek.  
Fiona, Puss, and Donkey looked at Shrek confused.  
"She's an old girlfriend I used to have back in my teenage years." Explained Shrek.  
His friends nodded in understanding.  
"Hello my darling Shrek." Said Gwen.  
"What are you doing here?" Asked Shrek.  
"I've come to make you my husband." Said Gwen.  
"What?!" Shouted Shrek.  
"An ogre like you needs a real ogress to love." Said Gwen.  
"Hey! I'm a real ogress!" Shouted Fiona.  
"Oh please I know you story. You were once a beautiful human princess with a curse. Every night you would turn into a ogress. Your parents put you inside a tall tower guarded by a dragon. Shrek here came along doing some dumb quest for some guy called Farquaad. He rescued you and you two latter fell in love. You kissed and you became a full ogress." Said Gwen.  
Fiona just stared at Gwen in shock.  
"Hold on there. Yes the story is true, but Fiona is as about as much of an ogre as anyone here!" Said Shrek.  
"Alright lets put her to the test. I challenger her to an Ogre Battle. There will be at least three battles. A battle of back wind, a battle of burps, and a battle of combat. If she can beat me in at least two of the battles she has proven herself and she will remain Shrek's wife. But if she loses all two Shrek will have to marry me." Said Gwen. Do you accept the challenge?" She asked.  
"I do!" Said Fiona.  
"Good will see you tomorrow then." Said Gwen.  
With that Gwen and her Ogres marched off. Shrek looked at Fiona.  
"Don't worry I can beat her." She said.  
"I know you can." Said Shrek.  
They kissed and went back into their house to prepare for tomorrow's challenges.

To be continued.


	2. Chapter 2 Back Wind

Contest of Ogress  
Chapter 2 Back Wind  
By: Major144  
Disclaimer I do not own Shrek. This is just a story for fun.

Is was a bright day in the swamp. A large group of Ogres, villagers, and other fairy tail creatures. A large arena had been erected in the center of the swamp. On one side stood Fiona and on the other was Fiona. Shrek was massaging Fiona shoulders and giving her a pep talk.  
"Now relax you can beat her. Remember what I always say." Said Shrek.  
"Better out then in." Said Fiona.  
"Now go out there and show her how much of an ogre you are!" Shouted Shrek with a smile.  
A bell rang and the two ogress walked to the center. A big fat ogre stood in the middle of the arena.  
"The first round of the Ogre Battle will begin! The first battle is back wind! Who ever can fart the loudest and longest will win!" Said the ogre.  
The two combinations glared at one another.  
"Let the battle begin! Ladies let it rip!" Shouted the fat ogre.  
Fiona went first. She closed her eyes and let out a fart.

"FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!" Farted Fiona.

The crowd cheered and clap. Gwen just smiled at Fiona, closed her eyes and let out a fart of her own.

"FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTTT TTTTTTTTTTTTTT!" Farted Gwen.

Gwen smiled smugly at Fiona. Fiona glared at her closed her eyes, clenched her teeth and let out another fart.

"FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF FFFFFFFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!" Farted Fiona.

Gwen gave Fiona a glare and released another fart.  
"FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTT TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT TTT!" Farted Gwen.

Gwen smiled at Fiona. Fiona took a deep breath and let out another fart.

"FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!" Farted Fiona.

She let out a groan and collapsed to her knees. The fat ogre steeped in and lifted one of Gwen's arms up.  
"I pronounce Gwen the winner of the back wind battle!" He shouted.  
The crowd cheered. Shrek helped Fiona up and walked her to the other side of the arena. The first round of the Ogre battle was over.

To be continued.


	3. Chapter 3 Burp

Contest of Ogress  
Chapter 3 Burp  
By: Major144  
Disclaimer I do not own Shrek. This is just a story for fun.

After an hour rest the two ogress got ready for the second round of the Ogre Battle. They entered the arena. The fat ogre from the first round stepped into the center.  
"The second of round of the Ogre Battle is the burp battle! The rules for this round are the similar to the rules of the last one. Who ever can burp the louder and longest wins." Explained the ogre.  
Fiona and Gwen stepped to the center of the arena.  
"May the burp battle begin!" Shouted the ogre as he left the center.  
Fiona burped first. She puffed up her checks and let out a thunderous burp.

"BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!" Burped Fiona.

Fiona smiled at Gwen. Gwen glared back at her. She puffed up her checks and let out a thunderous burp of her own.

"BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB BBBBBBBUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPP PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!" Burped Gwen.

Fiona quickly took a deep breath and let out another thunderous burp.

"BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!" Burped Fiona.

Gwen starred at Fiona in shock then she let out another thunderous burp.

"BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!" Burped Gwen.

Gwen smiled at Fiona.  
"Top that!" She said.  
Fiona took a deep breath and burped.

"BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPP PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP PPPPPP!" Burped Fiona.

Gwen stared in shock. She took a deep breath and tried to burp but all that came out was cough. Fiona grinned with triumph. The fat ogre stepped into the center grabbed one of Fiona's arms and lifted it up.  
"Fiona wins the burp battle!" He said.  
The crowd cheered. Fiona went to her husband and friends. They all patted and congratulated her. Gwen just glared at them.  
"The final event of the ogre battle we be held tomorrow." Said the fat ogre.  
"Just you wait Fiona I'll win the final battle even if I have to cheat a little bit to do so." Thought Gwen with an evil smile as she left the arena.

To be continued.


	4. Chapter 4 Witch Cheat

Contest of Ogress  
Chapter 4 Witch Cheat  
By: Major144  
Disclaimer I do not own Shrek. This is just a story for fun.

It was a dark night. In a carriage park there lived a bunch of witches. Gwen entered the park wearing a brown hood to conceal her face. She walked throughout the park until she came upon a particular carriage. The carriage looked like an enormous grinning skull. On the top of it was a sign that read "Breda's Spell and Hex Supplier". Gwen walked up to the door and knocked on it. The door opened and out stepped a thin witch with a long nose.  
"Hello there! I'm Brenda! If you need a spell or a hex I'm the one to call!" Said the witch. "Now what do you need?" She asked.  
"I need a spell to turn Princess Fiona back into a human. That way I can crush her in tomorrow's battle and Shrek will belong to me." Said Gwen.  
"The spell on Fiona is very powerful. I can only turn her back to human for maybe a couple of days." Said Brenda.  
"Fine. Fine. Just give me the spell." Demanded Gwen.  
Brenda went back into her carriage and came back with a small bottle that looked like a perfume bottle.  
"Just squirt some of this onto Fiona and she will turn back into a human." Said Brenda.  
"Ok." Said Gwen as she handed Brenda a bag of gold coins and left.  
Gwen looked at the bottle wickedly. With this she would crush Fiona! Then Shrek would be hers! Gwen laughed with evil glee as she left the park.

To be continued.


	5. Chapter 5 Human vs Ogre

Contest of Ogress  
Chapter 5 Human vs Ogre  
By: Major144  
Disclaimer I do not own Shrek. This is just a story for fun.

The next day of the Ogre had arrived. Everyone was gathered in the arena. Gwen was ready to put her plan into action. She handed the bottle of potion to one of her minion ogres and told him to get close to Fiona and spray her. The minion nodded and went off to do it. Fiona was in her corner practicing some karate moves. The minion ogre walked up to Fiona.  
"Excuse me. Would you like a squirt of some perfume?" He asked.  
"Sure." Said Fiona.  
The ogre sprayed her and walked away. Fiona felt weird as she walked to the center of the arena. The fat ogre stood in the center.  
"The final round of the Ogre Battle shall now begin. The final round is combat. Here are the rules. Whoever makes the surrender will win. Whoever knocks their opponent out will win." Said the fat ogre. "Let the fight begin!" He shouted.  
Fiona took a fighting stance. All of a sudden she felt woozy. Suddenly she was blinded by a golden flash. When the flash was over Fiona felt different. She looked down at her hands. They were white and human! Fiona was human again! The crowd gasped in shock. Gwen smiled wickedly and charged forward.  
"You see you can't win if your not a true ogre! Shrek will belong to me!" She shouted as she threw a punch.  
Fiona blocked it, but it threw her back. She took another fighting stance.  
"I will defeat. It doesn't matter if I'm ogre or human Shrek and I love one another not matter what!" She shouted.  
Gwen rushed forward and threw a punch. Fiona side steeped it and threw several jabs into Gwen's stomach. A gush of air exited Gwen's mouth. She threw another punch at Fiona. Fiona ducked the punch and kicked Gwen's legs out from under her. Gwen fell to the ground with a loud thud. Fiona got on top her chest. Gwen starred at her in horror.  
"How can I be losing?! I should have the advantage!" Shouted Gwen.  
"It because I'm a better person and a better fighter. I love Shrek and I'm not going to lose him!" Said Fiona. "Now how long am I going to be human?" She asked.  
"I have no idea what your talking about." Said Gwen.  
"Your lying. You clearly had something to do with it." Said Fiona with menace.  
"Ok! Ok! I used a potion that would turn you into a human for a couple of days!" Admitted Gwen.  
"Ok. Oh and one more thing Gwen." Said Fiona.  
"What?" Asked Gwen nervously.  
"Goodnight!" Said Fiona as she gave Gwen a big head-but.  
Their heads made a loud thunking sound. Gwen's head fell to the ground. She was unconscious. The crowd cheered. The fat ogre stepped in and raised Fiona's arm.  
"The winner of the Ogre Battle!" He shouted.  
Shrek walked up and kissed his wife.  
"You did it!" He shouted.  
They smiled and embraced one another. They watched as a couple of ogres dragged away a dazed Gwen. Shrek and Fiona smiled. Their love had conquered another challenge!  
And they all lived happily ever after.

The End.


End file.
